it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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