He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
