so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
