I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
