i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
