Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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