Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
