do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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