You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
