Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
