I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
