3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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