problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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