I must be too annoying 4 u.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
