he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
