Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize