Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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