hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
