I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
