you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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