It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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