Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
