dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
