He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
