Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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