I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Panties = found
Randomize
