How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
