Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize