I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
