i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
