is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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