Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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