You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize