He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
