I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
