direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
