are you still at the devil's house?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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