can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
