Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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