at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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