What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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