are you so shy because you have an std?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
