i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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