She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
