He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
