How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
