Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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