C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize