Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
