ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
