the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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