Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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