hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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