My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You can't motorboat a personality
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
