miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
