Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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