idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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