im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
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