Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
