I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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