Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
