Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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