You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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